Lamb Faucet - New Good Album

Don’t worry Dave, I’ll review Lamb Faucet’s s/t, but not before I remind everyone how shitty the rest of your discography is.

If you think this review is lazy, just wait till you hear this album. Clearly made in rebellion of Lamb Faucet’s own determination to make music, New Good Album is the artist’s answer to his unintentional celibacy and personality-debilitating drug addiction. Imagine if Captain Beefheart started taping himself farting and shitting at the same time, and sold it to the public under “Beefheart’s Hearty Mixtape” New Good Album is the modern equivalent of that.

Before I forget to review the songs, only the first two are good. It’s all downhill after that, starting with the song about sitting on a beach. Motherfucker lives in the snow, why is he singing about a beach? I understand the nuances of eating beans and rhyming it with jeans, but the artist has no place singing about the beach. The album gets worse as it progresses. Lamb Faucet does a really good job at making you cum early on, but after a while he keeps mashing it, and it’s no fun. By the end you’re soft, and he doesn’t stop, despite all your subtle social cues that you’re uncomfortable.

New Good Album is inadvertently one of Lamb Faucet’s most entertaining albums. The enjoyment comes from laughing at the artist, though. It’s the equivalent of watching a bum dwindle their balls in public; whilst entertaining, kinda gross.

Really Bad (In a good way)

Listen to it here:

https://lampfaucet.bandcamp.com/album/new-good-album

Lamb Faucet - New Good Album